I often hear advice from people to find a good man look for a man that goes to church. I use to think that would be a dream to find a man that goes to church because he would have morals, put family first, that he had discipline to wake up on time and go to church, and that he feared God. However, I learned first hand that men in church cheat, watch porn, beat on women, curse, and that some women have no loyalty to their church girlfriends.
I even heard before that a pastor cheated on his wife with the church’s secretary back in the day. Years later he married another woman that attended the church. In addition I went on a church paid trip out of state and learned that a church leader who was engaged to a church member slept with another church member on our church choir trip. Plus I know men who have went out on dates who claim to be Christian and their mother is pointing out other women to their son while their date is standing there. Even though they claim to be Christian they have no respect for the woman that came as a date to be so uncaring and rude. Both the mother and son were disrespectful. Some church men can have a woman standing next to them and still be staring at another woman’s ass. I’ve also heard stories of women who claim to be Christian but still sleeping with more than one man.
So despite us fantasizing and longing for a Christian person and envisioning them as being holy the truth is they are still human. Some people may be a new or young Christian, they might have no self respect, they might have never been questioned or told about their behaviors, they might be confused, they might be uncaring, or they might be under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
My church girlfriend explained to me that the church was like a hospital for people who came with different issues and were looking for healing. So basically keep that in mind there are many people who call themselves Christians but are hurt, lack good judgement, misguided, and so on. My advice is to study someone’s behaviors before you date them and while you are dating them regardless if they claim to be Christian or not. Actions speak louder than labels or words. Don’t be afraid to ask questions either. Christians aren’t supposed to live in fear. Plus according to the bible or my understanding of it Christians don’t date they should be courting and preparing to get married. So I am confused on how Christians are loosely using the words dating. Let us know your experiences on dating, courting, or dealing with Church folks. Do you believe in dating or courting? Do you still think it is a good idea to date someone in church?